Sometimes don’t you think, when someone is too close to you, that you should warn them “don’t get too close or the flaws begin to show”. Or do you allow the closeness, the flaw seeing, in hopes that they will too, show their flaws. Or perhaps you are so open and honest to test them, to wait for a day when someone embraces your flaws, and to weed out the ones who seek something less honest? I think I do the latter. I test them. I make sure you can handle it all, because for so many years I used to have artificial relationships with people, boyfriends, my close friends.
It was fake, it was youth telling us that our good times were good and the bad times could be pushed aside. Don’t hang out with people that push aside the bad and only demand the good from you. No one is perfect. No one gets it right a 100% of the time, but there are the people that try, and those people are the people that will look at your flaws and see beauty. They will see the fragile, the strong and they will appreciate you for both. They will defend you, they will share you. Those are the people that you need in your life. Not people that stand by and only share the best of times with you, they are selfish, indeed.
Seek flaws, cherish them, because the combined perfections and flaws that make you up, are what make you exactly who you are. Improvement comes from yourself, not someone telling you that you should or shouldn’t be, do, or want.
Good luck my friends, it’s a war and each day we win and lose battles with ourselves getting to the end.
Reposted for the dear people in my life who are, at the core, good and true.
the day ended with us
trying to our hardest
be geniuses,
scribbling
stories and poems
on
our sneakers
and palms
as the stars appeared
you took my hand and
wrotei love you, that’s all
and i felt
the weight of those words
on my skin, sinking in,
and for the first time,
i knew their meaning.
(Source: thedustdancestoo, via thedustdancestoo)
When I could not love myself.
And you made me turn
From the way I saw myself.
And you’re patient, love.
And you helped me help myself.
Tacos are better on Tuesdays: Have some respect.
Hey, how bout the time you told me that you were clearing all the room mates out of your house, and creating a space to make room for family and that “next phase” in your life?
And then hey, how bout that time you designed a beautiful engagement ring, asked my parents for their permission,…
It’s good to get angry.
(Source: dailystendhalnitesaudade, via thatkindofwoman)
Ding, dong.
The witch is dead.
If you’re someone I owe an apology or an explanation, be looking for it soon. If you are one of the people who walk back into my life because of this, thank you. Not everyone deserves a second chance. And it is important to back up your words with actions. I see this very clearly now.
Seven years of lies and not entirely existing within reality caught up to me, along with the death of my father and numerous other things that have since taken place. To those of you who have stuck with me and by me, unfailingly patient even when you didn’t understand… unfailingly patient, even when I pushed you away… my sincerest gratitude and respect go out to you. As does my loyalty. Know that I will do my best to be the same strength to you that you were to me time and time again. I’m not going to go anywhere.
Throughout all of this, I have learned the importance of love and honesty and truthfulness… and even vulnerability (my least favorite thing!). Some of you have been rare, shining examples of all of these things, and I recognize how few people of this calibre exist. I cannot thank you enough for being examples of some of the things that have not been shown to me… even in childhood.
One of the many joys that can (and should!) come with age and parenthood is the ability to step outside of yourself, step outside of your hurts, step outside of the past… and BE the change that you want to see in your life. Forgiveness is key. Especially when it comes to forgiving yourself. Without that important step, it becomes impossible to continue to move forward, out of the mire and into the light.
It is a relief to not see some people with rose-colored glasses, and to be able to make the conscious decision to step away from friendships or relationships with people who refuse to be honest and who refuse to grow. It is a relief to be able to let go of the past. It is a relief to be able to refuse to take the blame for the poor decisions of others around me. It is a relief to be able to take responsibility for my own actions and failures. It is a relief to finally be able to say “no.”
To me, the most important thing is that this amazing little human being I helped to create grows up to be a strong woman who thinks for herself and has a servant’s heart. Clearly, the best way of teaching her how to do this is to live it, myself. I’ve found a lot of fulfillment, joy, and hope during this difficult process. And I expect to fail time and time again. But I’ve chosen to lean not on my own understanding of things, to heal, and to push forward.
I am incredibly fortunate to have some of you along for the ride. And I am also incredibly fortunate to now possess the ability to see clearly what is good and true and what is not.
Bless you.
Love,
S.
Just doing a little more reading..
Signs he is a sociopath:
not learning from experience
no sense of responsibility
inability to form meaningful relationships
inability to control impulses
lack of moral sense
chronically antisocial behavior
no change in behavior after punishment
emotional immaturity
lack of guilt
self-centeredness
Sounds like someone I once knew.
